Just How Lazy Are You?

I spend a lot of time with people.  I like people.  I like their crazy stories and even crazier opinions.  I talk a lot.  I try to listen even more.  But all that people-time builds up a need in me for some serious down-time.  A need for quiet solitute in a beautiful setting.  I frequently go for a ramble in some spacious park, along a river, up a mountain, or down an empty beach.  I'll walk for hours - watching the weather roll in and out, watching the sun rise and fall.  Troubles melt against that vast beauty. 

But amidst that wonderful feeling of - aaaaahhhhhhhh - i often run into an eyesore that spoils the whole image.  Trash.  It jars the soothing calm of Nature when i stumble upon - sometimes quite literally - a pile of garbage.  I cannot understand why anyone would want to leave such a mess behind.  It's not like you can do it by accident.  "Oops - i just forgot that diaper full of poop!  Oops - i just forgot that case of empty beer bottles!  Oops - i just forgot that bag of empty sandwhich wrappers, soda cans, cigarette cartons, and candy wrappers!"  You didn't forget.  You just didn't want to bother.  Which baffles me.  If you thought enough to bring it in - why can't you think enough to bring it out?  The only reason i can think of is laziness.  Just pure laziness. 

And what baffles me even more, if you were to ask a person, any person, which place you would rather visit - a trash-filled beach or a pristine one?  The answer would always be, hands-down, the pristine beach.  No one, including the people who leave their trash behind, want to be in a place that looks like the county landfill. 

When i take my jaunts, i usually bring a neatly folded paper bag with me.  I pick up as i walk, or pile it up and get it on my way back.  If i forget the bag, i'll use my jacket, towels, or whatever i have on hand to gather trash up and take it to a garbage bin.  It isn't hard.  I don't even break a sweat.  And somehow i always imagine all the birds, plants, animals, and our Mother Earth saying a little "thank you" when i help to keep Her clean and beautiful. 

So next time you and the fam are going out in Nature to enjoy - please bring a paper bag and help pick up what others have left behind.  And if you see someone leaving trash, a tackful "reminder" - to take back what they brought with them - wouldn't hurt.

Expectations

Evil things really.  Or rather not evil so much as an illusionary dream of dreams.  And we have so many of them - the cancer of fantasy.  They run rampant through our thoughts.

Foolish - we base our lives on imagined occurances.  We imagine we will be rich - so we spend every penny because we believe money will always be there.  We imagine the worse will happen so we hoard every penny, take no chances, cause no waves; we try nothing new.  Etiher way - our expectations chain us to patterns of thought.  We believe these patterns to be real.

You have a relationship problem.  You think, "I will say this.  Then he or she will say that.  Then i will say this.  Then my partner will understand everything, apologize, and all will be smiles again."  Great expectations.  How is it that we believe we know what another person is going to say?  We don't know what WE will say the next moment.

We have an extraordinary inability to see WHAT  IS and to not take it any further than that.  It's like we can't leave it alone.  We have to keep worrying with it.  Fidgeting with reality till we distort it to something we think we want.  No wonder we are so disappointed.

I was fascinated by the first Matrix movie.  I thought, "Yes!  There it is in a super sexy black leather overcoat - we are asleep."  We are only dreaming of a world we wished to be.  But we aren't really in it - we aren't really touching that world with our full senses.  We are too busy dreaming to be bothered with a thing called Reality.

Here Thar Be Pirates!

What A Handsome Lad!

This is the 5^th year running of the great NorCal Pirate Festival held on the waterfront in Vallejo and my third time to attend.  And it was once again positively spectacular!  Even having seen this before, i am still amazed by the creativity, enthusiasm, and fun-loving energy that goes into this event.  And puns.  Lots of puns.  I saw a sailor dragging a rope with a long piece of wood at the end.  Painted on the wood was the word, “PLANK.”  A friend, laughing, turned to me and said, “Get it?  He’s walking the plank!”  Oh the levity.

For certain it helps if you have a sense of fun, adventure, and a heaping dose of silliness to help enjoy the festivities.  But even if you are a stouthearted, maritime historian, there is plenty to admire here.  The Dauntless, The Brotherhood of Albion, Morgan’s Companie, the Government House, and others provide nautical fact to the Hollywood fiction.  In fact, many of the pirates working the event have a full knowledge of maritime history and were quite happy to share with an enthusiastic listener.  In my mind, that’s the best you can get – a well-blended balance of crazy fun and nautical life – they even have it along the waterfront to give it that harbor feel.  Could it get any better?  Oh yes – it does!  I brag to everyone how good the food vendors are – what a feast!  Every year i make sure to get something different.  I’ve had meat pies, gyros, cinnamon almonds, chocolate dipped strawberries, funnel cakes – and this year, much to my delight – they had mouthwatering fish-n-chips!  It was one of those things i had mentioned in a blog i posted last year about this event – the lack of fish-n-chips.  Obviously i wasn’t the only one who missed this tasty dish.  I walk away every year wishing i had a bigger stomach. 

This year’s entertainment was even better than last.  Either that or i’m becoming more and more a pirate (to be sure).  Undead pirates – courtesy of the Pirates of Emerson (who do a wicked Halloween haunting every year…) and the Dead Pirate Macabre – jugglers, comedians, musicians, sword fighting, Pirate Lords and Ladies, cannon fire, dancers, storytellers, Capt. Jack-a-Likes, and piratical debauchery are the rule of the day.  Merchants are just as varied, selling everything from t-shirts and treasure maps, to finely made period clothing, decorated skulls, and swords. And i must say, the wares are high-quality and not dollar-store-junk.  I would like to do a shout out to Pirate Mod, one of the best and creative piratical t-shirt designers around.  It is through their website that i discovered the NorCal Pirate Festival three years ago.  I’ve been a satisfied customer of theirs ever since.  Hello good peoples – thanks for your hard work and great shirts! 

Crew of the Dauntless

One of the highlights of each day’s festival is the sailing of the Aldebaron and her attack on the British Royal Navy.  She’s a beautiful schooner with wooden masts, spars, and decking – and remarkable red sails.  Even though she was under diesel power, the wind filled her sails and showed off colors.  The land based cannon fire, and possibly the ship too, was provided by B.O.O.M. (the Brotherhood of Oceanic Mercenaries).  Honestly, i don’t know how real sailors and infantry kept from going completely deaf in their first year of service; the concussion of power when a gun goes off is scary.  Another highlight is the Court of the Pirate Lords.  The Pirate Brethren put on a great show which features slap-stick comedy, swordplay, and choosing a new pirate lord.

The Aldebaron fires on the British! 

And the British fire back!

All of this is to say, i will be back again and again to be delighted with such mirth and laughter as to keep me in smiles all week long!  For those of you who wished you had known earlier about this event, or realized it too late – put this on your phone or computer calendar.  Next year Father’s Day weekend is June 16^th & 17^th, and unless things change drastically, that’s when the next Nor Cal Pirate Festival will be.  So set the date now and don’t miss out on the best event all year!

Queen Anne's Revenge

The Sea Dogs

Crazy Cool Jobs

Look at these guys.  Crazy.  But cool.  For the last few weeks i’ve been watching them fly through the air at the end of a tether, going from one high power tower to another.  It looks like a blast.  Zipping through the sky, swinging free and clear.  What a view!  What an experience!  I would dig it.  I’ve flown in gliders, been pulled behind a boat in a parasail, traversed ziplines through treetops, flown loops and hammerhead stalls in a bi-plane, and skydived.  Oh and wouldn’t i just love to add this experience to my little list of aerial feats – not that i’ve intentionally tried to create a check-list of craziness.  It’s just that opportunities arise.  And i take them.  

Obviously, i have no fear of heights.  Or control issues.  I envy these guys as they zip along.  Yet despite the casual regard, i have a great fear of what the gentlemen are actually doing – working with electricity.  True enough.  It’s some seriously high voltage electric we’re talking about.  But the stuff really frightens me.  I don’t even like walking underneath them.  Buzzing and humming with zappy power.  Gives me the willies. 

I remember when i was a kid, the boys would dare each other to touch an outlet.  I was completely amazed and baffled by their stupidity.  Why on earth would you want to get zapped?  Hell, static electricity scares me.  I do all sorts of tricks to avoid it.  It’s a wonder i will even turn on a light switch.  There’s one in my bathroom that makes a little popping noise when i flick the switch.  I have little heart palpitations every time.    

Back to our flying electricians, they have a very cool job.  They probably even get extra pay.  Certainly it’s dangerous work they have with lots of room for a possible fatal error.  But i can’t imagine that it’s ever a boring job.  In fact, i think it would be one of those jobs you actually look forward to when you wake up in the morning.  As for me, i would take the ride but not the job.  I wonder if i could talk them into hiring me to photograph their work?  That would be cool.

Slice of Sacramento

I'm sorry to inform - but i will not be continuing (at least for now) writing the Slice of Sacramento blog.  I am currently under a great deal of stress - as so many of us are - due to the imminent lack of work.  I'm spending almost all of my time looking for other employment opportunities. 

That said, i will still be writing on this blog, If It Were Real, and will add the occasional post about local happenings. 

I think it's a sad state of affairs that we spend the majority of our adult lives doing jobs that we don't love - or even like.  Meanwhile our dreams drift further and further away.  I was unforntunately born with a hefty dose of creativifty.  People will not pay for a creative mind.  Oh - there's a few high-end artists that manage to make it big.  But for every successful - and by that i mean, they can pay their bills - artist, there are a million others who would starve if they had to rely on their art alone.

Yet - and this just nearly chokes me to death - a woman will pay $300 or more - for a freakin' hand bag!  It's a dead cow's skin, ladies!  Dyed to a nice shade of pink and garnished with a few fake baubles.  For hundreds of dollars, you and millions of your lady friends can own one just alike.  But art - a time-intensive, one-of-a-kind, personal creative endevour of love and passion - is discounted.  Marked down to 50% off, 75% off, free for the taking!  I just don't get it.  

I am very sad.

"Lair, Liar, Pants on Fire!"

This is the childhood taunt heard on every playground across America. And there’s probably some version of it in every country around the World. We are taught as kids to never utter a lie. To do so is to bring down the worst guilt, the most sinful shame, and guaranteed you won’t get presents from Santa. We learn this lesson so young in Life and with such unbending conviction that just one angry, hurtful look on a parent’s face is enough to turn on an avalanche of tears.


Lie. Lying. Lied. Zoom forward to our adult selves. I came across a comments section on a blog that made me laugh. Basically, the blog creator was asking his audience, “under what circumstance is it OK to lie?” Wow. Psychologists could work on these answers till eternity ends and not find a more entertaining pastime. I think that’s why people become psychologists – to be delightfully surprised by just how wacked-out people can get. Anyway, i read pages of comments. And gosh – i was entertained! People were quite adamant that they abhorred lying, never lied, and it was generally unforgivable under any circumstance. Then they proceeded to list in detail all the lies that are acceptable. Right.

Honestly, lying gets a bad rap. Lying is our communication bread and butter in surviving society. How could we ever get to our desks in the morning if we had to honestly answer every time someone asked, “How are you?” Oh please – there aren’t enough hours in the day to answer. When the office guys get together and ask, “We’re going to Redneck’s BBQ for lunch; anybody got a problem with that?” And you answer, “No whatever,” when in fact you would rather go anywhere other than Redneck’s BBQ. The cliché, but always real, girlfriend question, “Does this look good on me?” I believe we all know the answers we’ll give. If we’re honest.

So – we should really ask ourselves, how many truths do we tell? Get a stop watch and clip board and mark down every time you are completely truthful and you will get an idea of the various shades of lying we tell on a minute-to-minute basis. And is lying really so bad? Why? Our little twitchy minds can justify anything, so how do you tell if it’s a “good” lie or a “bad” lie? And while we’re at it, get two people to agree on what “good” and “bad” mean in reference to lying. Does that make your face twitch just thinking about it? I read a very good book recently, “Lying and Deception in Everyday Life” edited by Michael Lewis and Carolyn Saarni. An excellent, excellent read. Not a summer book to be sure but full of real-people truths. Which is ironic for a book about lying. The book is authored by more than a dozen PhD’s and has a wide range and depth of subject. The editors pull no punches and aren’t shy to cover aspects others fear to tread. I liked the idea put forward by one author that we abhor lying in others but justify our own lies as being necessary. Yes indeed.

If you are really honest, you know for a fact you can’t live without lying. It’s a part of society and part of being human. So i think we should take another look at lying and the convoluted part we play and re-create our views of lying. Gosh – Lying has taken the rap for too long. It’s feeling pretty jaded and hurt. I think we need to cuddle up next to Lying, wrap it in a warm blanket, and whisper – “it’s OK Lying; you’re beautiful and you’re cool. Don’t listen to all those other people. I love you. You’re OK.”

On Hold...

Well, to any of you who are regular, sometime regular, hit-or-miss, and accidental readers - i've been on a long hiatus from writing, as you can see from the lack of current posts.  It's intentional.  Yup.  I'm intentionally not writing because,

a) I'm working on "supply and demand."  I figure if i limit supply, i will become in demand.  Right.
b) I've taken a vow of silence - including my verbose written word.
c) I've been kidnapped by my cats and am being held for ransom for a crate of Fancy Feast cat food.  If you ever want to lose your sense of self-worth, just see how little value your cats place on you...
d) I've been glued to the computer every night applying for jobs.

And the correct answer is...D...i'm spending an extreme amount of time looking for work for this summer.  Damn - i feel like i've gone back to high school.

Summer job anyone?

Yes - i will get back to writing.  I miss it.  :-(  Hope to join the living again soon...